


Fix A Heart

by rainbowkitten



Category: Glee
Genre: After the kiss, Klaine are just friends, Kum are perfect for each other, Kurt is damaged, M/M, Not very Karofsky friendly, Sam is a Saint, Takes place in Season Two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-20 15:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3655572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowkitten/pseuds/rainbowkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt is struggling to find a way to hold onto his sanity and self-esteem and finds it in the most unexpected place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fix A Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This song has always had a special place in my heart and I’ve always thought it would fit a certain situation perfectly. Hopefully you’ll agree. This takes place right after Kurt’s big confrontation with Karofsky. It involves toying with the order of events in canon a little bit, mainly so Kurt doesn’t transfer to Dalton but I hope you won’t mind that too much. Naturally, I suggest listening to the song at the same time as you read the fic, but you do you, loves. Enjoy!

Kurt was about at his wit’s end. This was all too damn much and he wasn’t sure he could take any more of it. He was over Finn and the whole rejection he got from that situation, but he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t a factor in his frustrations. First that and then Blaine rejecting him with the “just friends” method of things. He appreciated the honesty, sure, but a guy could only be rejected so many times before it started to feel personal.

And then came Karofsky, charging into every situation like Kurt was his personal worst enemy. Like just because Kurt was gay and dared not to hide it, he was the worst possible person on Earth. That would’ve been bad enough, but then Karofsky had to go and confuse everything by kissing him. And no, it did not count as his first kiss. Blaine had reassured him on that and he agreed. But it still shook him up and he needed a little time to himself, which is why he hung back after Glee and just sat at the piano, trying to stop himself from crying.

He jumped when he heard someone in the doorway and turned around, tears in his eyes, praying it wasn’t Karofsky. He relaxed a little when he saw it was just Sam, but wiped his eyes anyways. Naturally, Sam cared too damn much to let it drop like that. He was at his side in a heartbeat, on his knees and hovering protectively over him.

“What did he do?” It should’ve surprised Kurt a little more that Sam knew right away, but he found he couldn’t even pretend he was. Sam knew he was struggling with his bully. He just never knew the extent. Kurt stared up into Sam’s eyes and shook his head. “You can tell me, Kurt. I swear. How about you tell me a secret and I’ll tell you one? It’s juicy, I promise. And risky.”

Kurt kept staring at Sam and then closed his eyes, tilting his head down. “He kissed me.” He waited for Sam to react in disgust. He waited for him to recoil or pull away. To hate him for letting it happen. He slowly opened his eyes to stare Sam in the face to try and read his expression. He didn’t expect the softness he saw there. The hurt and the pain. “I-I didn’t want it. He did it without…I didn’t…”

Sam cupped his cheek and shook his head, pressing a finger gently to his lips. “I know.” He paused for a second and sat back. “I promised you a secret even if it feels like the worst time for it now, but…” He took a deep breath and smiled thinly at Kurt. “I love you. I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since we first met. That’s why I hate that asshole so much. Why I fought for you.” He ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. “Bad time to admit that, I know. You’re going through something and-“

Kurt cut him off by leaning in close to him, his lips hovering over Sam’s. “Tell me no if you don’t want this. I just want to control my actual first kiss. I want to be able to actually consent to something I want.” When Sam didn’t say anything, he closed the distance between them and kissed Sam sweetly, letting it linger for a few seconds before pulling away with a blush. “Thank you, Sam.” He stood up and took a deep breath. “But you need to understand how damaged I am. I’ve wanted you too, but…I thought you were straight and I didn’t think you deserved to be saddled with my baggage and…” He groaned and moved over to his iPod, hooking it up to the speakers in the room and cueing up the instrumental version of the song I wanted. “It’s easier for me to sing it than say it.” He took a seat on a stool and looked over at Sam, letting the opening play before he started singing.

                It's probably what's best for you

                I only want the best for you

                And if I'm not the best then you're stuck

                I tried to sever ties and I ended up with wounds to bind

                Like you're pouring salt in my cuts

 

                And I just ran out of band-aids

                I don't even know where to start

                'Cause you can bandage the damage

                You never really can fix a heart

 

Kurt could see the pain flicker on Sam’s face and instantly felt guilty. He knew this song was a little sharp with its meaning, but it expressed how he felt best. He wanted to reach out and hug Sam, but he couldn’t. He had to finish. He had to let Sam know what he was getting into.

 

                Even though I know what's wrong

                How could I be so sure

                If you never say what you feel, feel

                I must have held your hand so tight

                You didn't have the will to fight

                I guess you needed more time to heal

 

                Baby, I just ran out of band-aids

                I don't even know where to start

                'Cause you can bandage the damage

                You never really can fix a heart

 

Kurt stood up off of the stool and made his way over to Sam, lifting him from his position on his knees, hugging him and dancing with him slowly as he sang through the “Oohs” and “Yeahs.”

 

                Ooh, ooh

                Whoa, whoa

                Yeah

                Ooh, ooh

                Whoa, whoa

                Whoa, whoa

                Oh, oh

                Yeah

 

He pulled away from Sam and moved away from him, still watching him carefully as he went back to singing, feeling his emotions starting to bubble up. He accidentally ran into the stool and felt his entire performance falling away from him. He was still singing perfectly, but he was starting to feel frazzled.

 

                You must be a miracle worker

                Swearing up and down

                You can fix what's been broken, yeah

                Please don't get my hopes up

                No, no, baby, tell me how could you be so cruel?

 

                It's like you're pouring salt on my cuts

 

Kurt felt the first tears start to spill down his cheeks as he finished that line and sang the chorus as heartfelt as he could, feeling his knees weakening as his emotions really threatened to overwhelm him. He kept singing, though, needing to get all of this out before he really broke down.

 

                Baby, I just ran out of band-aids

                I don't even know where to start

                'Cause you can bandage the damage

                You never really can fix a heart

 

                Baby, I just ran out of band-aids

                I don't even know where to start

                'Cause you can bandage the damage

                You never really can fix a heart

                Oh no, no, no

                You never really can fix a heart

                Oh no, no, no

                You never really can fix a heart

                Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh yeah-oh, oh, oh, oh

 

He felt his knees give out and came crashing down, finding Sam immediately right there to catch him. He stared up into his eyes, still filled with tears and weakly sang out the last line, biting his lip and letting the silence wash over them.

 

                You never really can fix my heart

 

Sam hugged Kurt tightly to him and rubbed his back. “Let it all out, Kurt. I’m not going anywhere, ok? Just…let loose.” He held Kurt as the other boy sobbed on his shoulder, finally reaching an emotional catharsis and feeling safe enough in Sam’s arms to let it all flow freely.

Once Kurt had composed himself more, he wiped at his eyes and stood up, pulling Sam with him so they could sit in actual seats instead of just huddling together on the floor. He felt his cheeks reddening and smiled shyly at Sam. “Sorry…Just…haven’t really processed a lot of emotional things I’ve gone through. I’ll tell you everything eventually, but I’m just really drained right now.”

Sam nodded and kissed Kurt’s cheek. “No need to apologize, Kurt. Just…let me do all the talking, ok? I understand you feel broken beyond compare. I understand you don’t think you can ever be whole again. But I don’t care. I’m not going to just stop caring about you because you have baggage. I want to try and do everything to help you fix your heart. I want to try and be the glue you need to put it back together and keep it together. I want to make you feel so loved that you can barely breathe because that’s how you make me feel. You make me feel breathless and insanely smitten and I don’t ever want that to change.”

Kurt looked up into Sam’s eyes and bit his lip. “It’s not going to be easy, Sam. You’ve been through so much already. You don’t deserve to have to deal with all of my issues too.” He rubbed Sam’s cheek affectionately.

“How about you let me decide what I deserve, ok? Because I know that I deserve you. And you deserve me. And that’s good enough for me. I can wait and be patient for as long as you need me to be. The best things in life don’t come easily and they’re worth working for. And that’s how I feel about you. So instead of trying to warn me away from you, just…accept that I’m not going anywhere.”

Kurt nodded slowly and let out a relieved gust of breath, moving forward and gently kissing Sam again. “Maybe you can fix my heart, after all, Sammy.” He buried his face in his neck and just relaxed against him, letting Sam take over and comfort him. It was time to stop hiding. It was time to let himself be loved by someone who really did love him. It was time to finally be happy.


End file.
